Can you come back?

Ok, this is the imfamous line of a friend of mine. Sounds cheezy and has two meanings. Can be literal, can be hypothetical.

I've been giving this a thougt: is it time for me to lay down my cards and actually say this line to this certain person? I mean, c'mon! I was never like that. I was always sooooo selfish. I've been loving myself far to much. I dunno. Perhaps, for the first time in my life I actually had to admit that I made the wrong move. I lost this stupid game. I always tried to convince myself that I was ok and that I'm going to be ok. But with the things happening (too tulirio during work, always tulala sa isang tabi, sleepless nights, wanting to be alone, wanting to go to the place where he is just to catch a glimpse of him) Get this, in society, I have the upper hand a.k.a. I'm older (For those who know me, you've probably got the idea).

I don't like this. I don't wanna lose pride of myself. I can honestly say that I have a good future with the career I've chosen-just focus Naice!

Closure: one major factor that I was deprived of. Why would I have the privilage of experiencing this anyway? An Ice princess/ snow queen like myself? I guess there's no room for those kind of privilages. But I do hope I am entitled to feel warmth. That happiness.

I'm deprived of sleep...which gives me alot of time to re think things over. I do love my job. I do love myself. But needless to say, I suck at loving both my job and myself. And there's a big chance that I may suck at loving a person.

I'm not love deprieved. But how come this longing is still in me? I should be happy with what I have. Be contented. Peer pressure is one thing. Pressure from both my colleagues and myself. Pressure to do better in everything that I decide to do. *^%^&*^&* this is not actually happening.

What's wrong with me?

Can you come back....in my life?